Mom Brain Is Real, and so is the identity shift that comes with motherhood.
The Science Behind Mom Brain.
Research shows pregnancy triggers major neurological changes that can last for years:
- Reduced grey matter
- Rewired emotional and social circuits
- Changes in memory and stress response
These aren't signs of decline, they're adaptations. Your brain reorganizes itself because motherhood is one of the most demanding roles a human can take on.
Yes, this can mean foggier memory, lower stamina, and a shorter fuse. But it also means heightened emotional intelligence, deeper intuition, and stronger crisis management, skills most workplaces value more than they admit.
The Identity Shift No One Talks About
When Ana said she didn't "feel like herself," she wasn't only talking about memory.
Motherhood disrupts your sense of self in ways the workplace rarely acknowledges:
- Your values shift.
- Your tolerance for certain environments changes.
- Your definition of success evolves.
- Your priorities clarify.
- Your confidence may dip, even as your capabilities expand.
You become someone new, but you also meet parts of yourself you never had space to explore before.
This is where understanding your core patterns becomes invaluable. Tools like the Enneagram and inner work frameworks can help you recognize what's changing, and what's been there all along. When Ana explored her Enneagram type, she realized her drive for achievement hadn't disappeared; it had simply shifted focus. Her coremotivations were still present, but they were now expressing themselves through different priorities. Instead of external validation, she was seeking internal alignment.
Inner work helps you distinguish between genuine identity evolution and temporary disorientation. It reveals which parts of your pre-motherhood self were truly you, and which were roles you played to meet others' expectations. This clarity becomes your compass during a disorienting transition.
Ana realized she wasn't less ambitious, she was differently ambitious. She wanted impact, not just speed. Alignment, notjust achievement. Boundaries, not burnout.
This is identity change, not identity loss.
Practical Strategies for Your Return to Work
Here's what helped Ana, and what helps almost every mother I coach:
1. Build memory support systems
Use shared calendars, detailed notes, visual reminders. These aren't crutches, they're executive-function tools.
2. Manage your energy, not just your time
Schedule high-focus tasks during your peak hours. Take micro-breaks instead of pushing through fatigue.
3. Use emotional regulation techniques
Two minutes of breathing can reset your nervous system. Take space instead of reacting.
4. Do the inner work
Explore frameworks like the Enneagram to understand your core patterns, blind spots, and growth edges. This self-awareness helps you navigate the identity shift with less resistance and more intention.
5. Track your wins
A simple "success log" rebuilt Ana's confidence faster than anything else.
You're not returning as the woman you were before. You're returning as someone wiser, more intuitive, more emotionally attuned, and more honest about what you want.
The maternal brain isn't broken. It's adapted.Expanded. Powerful.
If you're navigating this transition and wantsupport creating a realistic, identity-aligned plan for your return, career coaching for mothers can help you step into this next chapter with confidence and clarity.